How long does it take to forgive your spouse after their emotional affair?

I had an emotional affair with my ex boyfriend which lasted 9 months, and ended nearly a year ago. I never saw him. We only communicated through phone in emails. It is a long story which I cannot put here.





I know it probably depends on the situation and the parties involved, But my husband has not forgiven me yet, and no longer trusts or sleeps with me.





He refused to go to marriage counseling, even when I was willing. We have had problems in our marriage for a lot of years, mostly dealing with his drug addiction and stealing.How long does it take to forgive your spouse after their emotional affair?
it might never come, sometimes you can't repair what's broken, forgiveness comes with the heart, it takes willpower, without it nothing is possible.How long does it take to forgive your spouse after their emotional affair?
Take it as long as you love him, and forgive yourself.





is sucks and alot of people dont agree, but once you get to that point of both of yall have fell out of love at the same time, then its time to move on.
You had an emotional affair because your boyfriend pays no attention to you. He's now using your one flaw against you in order to continue his bad habits without you getting mad at him for it.





Find a new husband, this one is a joke.


What on earth is an ';emotional affair'; anyway? That sounds like a load of crap anyway.
OMG!! i was going to say that you have to do a major @ss kissing but if hes a drug addict and a thief, i would say, just drop it and get a divorce.
Honestly, if I were in your husband's shoes, I wouldn't be able to get over that either. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but an affair is an affair in my book, physical or emotional, you put your spouse to the back burner for some other guy and that's just wrong.





He may never be able to forgive you or get over it completly and bring up his addictions and problems to make yourself feel better isn't going to win any points with him either.





You should maybe try going to counseling yourself to get things with you good and then try to do what you can to repair your marriage if it can be,





Good Luck
I always tell my husband that I would be more hurt by him sharing his life and emotions with someone than I would if he had a one night stand.


While both can be devasting, I would be hard pressed to understand and forgive him for going to someone else for the conversation and support that I need him to share with me.
Good God. You didn't have sex. You just talked. Or did you have ';Phone Sex';? Tell him to get over it. And if he can't get over it, then you can either live with a pouting husband or you can leave him. I recommend trying to stick it out.





He really needs to get over it, though. I think jealousy due to an affair within marrige is way over-rated. Infedelity happens. Big F-en Deal. The real question is how much of your family resources did you divert into this affair? Did it negatively impact your finances? Your family time? Your sex life? Your ability to fulfill the responsibilities to your husband and kids?





If you can answer ';mostly no'; to the above, your husband just needs to get over it.





If he has a drug problem and is abusive, though, I STRONGLY recommend leaving his worthless a$$.
This sort of thing should never be forgiven.
I don't know about everyone but to me an affair is an affair (it doesn't matter if it was emotional or physical). You betrayed your husband and the trust is GONE! If you still want to work on the marriage you need to start a new ';history'; or ';track record';. As Dr. Phil would say, you need to be an open book. He needs to be able to know what's going on with you and you need to give him no reason to doubt you. The other thing is that you need to REALLY GET what you have done. You need to understand that it was a betrayal and validate his feelings on the subject. It will take time (and he may never get over it). I've gone through this (in a way) and I DID forgive my husband. It was hard and trusting did not come easy... but I eventually started trusting him... but he's back to acting the same way so I'm concerned that something is going on again. That is not good. I don't think it is fair to stay with someone if you will never let them make up for it BUT IF THEY DO, it is really low if you do it again. (I don't think you will) It depends on if you want to hang in there or not (and if he does).


Okay... that was my answer BEFORE I read your last paragraph about his drug addiction and stealing. That really takes this to another level. I was speaking from personal experience on the affair issue but I don't know what to do when someone is involved in illegal stuff. Are you sure you want to hang in there? Good luck to you. We all can give you advice (with our limited knowledge) but YOU have to live it and make the decisions.
What the hell is an emotional affair ladies and gentlemen?





Come on people, emotions are fine and natural!





An ';affair'; is when you lose control of yourself and jump into bed with another person and end up pregnant - or become a father.





Stop listening to Dr. Phil and his ilk and stop becoming too paranoid!
i would not stay with someone who cheats on me.. any kind of cheating..
personally, i can forgive... but I can't forget. The lost of trust is a barrier I can barely if ever overcome. things will never be the same again...
You're not happy....he's not happy...you don't sleep together...he won't go to counseling...and he's a former drug addict and thief....go to a lawyer. You're not in a marriage, you're in a bad soap opera! There is more to life than what you have happening! Start over! KJL
You may just need to move on. Get couseling on your own.
think about someone besides yourself. time is not the question you should be asking of him. you need to commit to this man and let him know that you are there until he heals.
are you trying to use your HUSBANDs drug addiction and stealing as the excuse for you having an '; emotional AFFAIR'; regardless whether its physical or not you had an affair. and your husband should never forgive you and I don't blame him either for not trusting you anymore you burnt that bridge long ago when you decided to have an affair, so you should be taking the blame and it does not depend on the situation or parties involved gee your really trying to point the finger everywhere else but at yourself, take what you have dealt yourself and accept the fact that you and you alone have simply ****..ed up!
Well, it's going no where. How long do you want to spend your time going no where?





Decisions are tough, but sometimes you have to move on in life.
I was thinking you have alot to work for, but at the end where you brought up him being a drug addict and a theif I think he has things to improve as well. He needs to decide if he can forgive you or not, he CAN NOT hold this over your head to make you miserable for the rest of your life. That is not ok. You are not a horrible person, we all do things that we might regret. He needs to GET OVER himself and realize he might not be a prize someone would want to win either.
emotional winds up being more some day.......it's a sign
May I ask you - why are you still married? Are you choosing to stay in a marriage that is making you both miserable?


Does that make any sense at all to you?





Both of you need to separate from each and go your own way. You will both eventually, find somebody else and then you both can start fresh, with you having somebody to love and respect you without judging you. Your husband can marry somebody else who he trusts, and he will probably stop any addictions because he will be happy.





Both of you, do yourselves a favor. End the marriage and start all over.
It clearly shows that you were unhappy within marriage life for years that's why you had emotional affair with another man, which mean that you are no longer in loved with your husband anymore. You know your husband has not forgiven you and together with the addicted behavior in drug use and stealing, so, why do you keep living within this situation. You should be yourself, try to make yourself happy and find out what is the best for you. How can you continue living with someone who has not forgiven you and who is addicted with bad behaviors? Life is short to wait for him to forgive you. I think, he already thinks you are a cheater (a cheater is always cheater), thus, no matter you will get his positive feedback oneday he will still judge you. Move on to find someone who love you and you love him too.
One word DIVORCE. try it you'll be happier in the long run. you have already lost the two most important parts of a good marriage Trust and Communication. Neither of you are even getting the comfort from the connection you get when in the same bed.


F99