Which relationship do you find more important, the one with your spouse or with your child?

I am wondering what you all think. Do you feel your relationship with your wife/husband should be equal to the relationship you have with your child/ren (communicating/love etc.) or do you feel that one is more important than the other? My mom has always told me basically that she felt her kids were more important than our dad and I never could imagine feeling more love towards someone other than my husband. I know loving your kids and loving your husband/wife are two different types of love, but how do you compare the two? I have also read in my pregnancy book that the relationship with your partner is even more important than the relationship you have with your child, because the two of you created the child. Do you feel like that? I am not a parent yet, but my due date is in 4 weeks and I am just wondering how you felt after having your babies and when they got older. Did you still feel the same about your husband/wife, or did you feel that the bond with your child was more important? Sorry if this is a difficult question to answer, I am just wondering how couples feel about eachother and their children after they are born. Thanks in advance for the answers :)Which relationship do you find more important, the one with your spouse or with your child?
I have been married 33 years.My wife and I have raised two children.I am convinced your spouse is more important than the kids.You must give the example of what love is.Love your spouse and the kids will love both of you.You are raising future adults they will become their own person some day.If you go to religious services take them even when they do not want to go.Help them learn to make informed choices.For instance when my daughter and son got confirmed I told them the following.You are about to make a decision if you want to wait do so,if you do not want to do this do so,but if you do so be serious.If you do not believe in religious services and they want to attend one allow them to do so.Every situation is an opportunity to have a conversation with you children.Which relationship do you find more important, the one with your spouse or with your child?
I think that the one with your spouse is more important, or needs more attention (in a way) because if you two have a lousy relationship, it'll effect your children and your household negatively.


I'm not saying that you should love your spouse more, or put your children second, just that you need to do what you can to keep your relationship with your spouse happy and healthy, for your children.
the love for your kid is so much mor important than a husband or a wife bcuz not tryin to be mean but at some point in time you and your husband/wife might split up..you will always have your kid...there are so many thing that the two of you will go through together that it makes your bond so much more than the one with your husband/wife will ever have bcuz you are there with the kid from the very begining that makes evrything special...
My children are always #1. I love my husband very very much but he could change the way he feels about me and we could end up divorced, but my children are my children forever. I hope nothing ever happens between my husband and I but you never know. My husband feels the same way and I want him to love them more than me, a lot more than me.
If you went to a marriage counsellor they would say your spouse always comes first then your children, as the children are on loan, and your job is to guide them and turn them into responsible adults to live their life, and your kids will eventually make a life for themselves, where-as your relationship with your spouse is forever.....
Definitely child.


They depend on you for survival. There is no stronger bond than mother and child. I had to make a choice when my child was born...either the child or my husband. Well, I picked the child (and have NO REGRETS...) ...I can always find another husband.
They're both important but different. In developing and sustaining a positive bond with anyone, be it your children or husband, you need to give them your time, patience and love etc.



Give love equal to your love ones, (you can't see the other part of your side with a single eye) its is my view any how other may differ















Put it this way: If you would choose your husband over your child you shouldn't have kids.
NONE! I love them both
i feel like they are equal
if i ever had to choose only one, it would be my kids. i love my husband to death but they are my kids, there is no stronger love my husband has also said something similar (it was a strange conversation our friend started!).





with that being said i think they are both equally important, for the same and some different reasons. i want to have a good, loving, open relationship with both my kids and husband, but i work hard to keep my relationship with my husband great because i want to be with him for a very very long time to come for myself and our kids. i work hard to keep a great relationship with my kids also for the same reasons most every parent has. i do not feel any one is more important but equally very very important but with similar and different reasons. you will know very soon! it is different for every one so obviously i am only speaking for me.(sorry hope this makes sense).
You should love both equally. If you had to leave one over the other though, you would need to leave the husband (say if the husband was NOT okay with the child which weren't his).





Why? Because the husband is an adult, and the child will need help and besides, it's yours.





When you think coldly and technically at the start, you should love your husband more because what has the child done for you other than being a nuisance rather than the husband (whom I assume) can show you more affection and care for you.





...But in today's society, and after you have had your children, you will end up having to love the child more because that is how life is. The child is a new generation of YOU. Life is all one long strand of a life and children are our successors. They are our future.
The loves are different, but should be equal.





When it comes down to it, you have to take care of yourself. And if one (either your husband or your children) is a positive part of your life and the other is negative - I think the relationship with the positive person is more important.





Examples:





I have a wonderful boyfriend. Most of our arguments are caused by my daughter's misbehavior. BUT, she is just 6 years old and the things she does aren't that bad. There's no contest - my relationship with her is more important.





Things would be different if I had a kid like her 17 year old cousin. This girl lies, steals, sees drugs and shoplifting as ways of life, she has reported her parents for child abuse and says my ex molested her. Main reason: She loves the attention that comes from a life filled with drama. If I had a kid like that and a husband who treated me well, I would try to figure out where / if I went wrong and if it can be fixed. If it turned out that being a bad person was just a part of who she was - I would let her go and focus on getting along with my husband.





It may sound cruel or messed up, but that's how I feel about it. An ideal situation is where you raise kids you can be proud of and have a husband who loves you and treats you right. In that situation - they would be equals.
I would say child! because they need you they depend on you where as your husband he can live on his own and take care of himself but In away they both need the same kinda love and care you should talk to both and share love with both my mom always said that children are#1 but this would be if there was a choice you had to make other wise I am pregnant and I feel close with my husband and I feel like we are in this together and need to both care for each other and baby at the same time but I think its important to make alone time with hubby too!
Would you say that your love for one child is greater than your love for another child? Absolutely not! Sometimes the kids will ask, who do you love more, me or my sibling? I would say this applies to your spouse as well. They are different. You form different relationships with different people in your life - your parents, your children, your spouse, your extended family.





Now to be more specific: I believe it is healthy to nurture your relationship with your spouse because it is meant to last forever. At the same time, I think it is important to put the needs of your children first while you are raising them.
Equal, though I consider my marriage more important UNLESS something was horribly awry in the family. If it came down to having to choose, I would choose my daughter, because she is dependent on me and would have nothing to do with a failing marriage if that were to happen, and I could not punish an innocent for something she had no guilt in.


But right now as I have a very good relationship with my husband, I definitely spend more time with and have a stronger relationship with him. It's kind of hard to have much of a relationship with an infant, and while we'll grow closer over the years, I still think my relationship with my husband is very important and should not be put aside or sacrificed for children.





So many couples become all about the children and spend their entire lives completely fixated on their kids, and that' just not how we're going to live.





We're eachother's first and foremost; being parents does not define our relationship.
Both are very important. The relationship with your spouse is important. You are there for each other. You created your child together. You will parent and go through life together and if you have a good, strong marriage and keep in going and support one another that will have a positive effect on your child. Happy parents have happy children. Having a good relationship with your child is important also. Your child needs you to take care of him or her and raise him/her in the best way possible. Raising children today is not easy and is very challenging and rewarding. I spend a lot of time taking care of my children vs. taking care of my husband. He feels neglected and when he feels that way, it makes it hard for both of us. So, when I take good care of him, he feels better and I feel better. Just like when he takes care of me. Just remember to make time for your spouse, like a date night even if you stay home after the baby is sleeping. Even if you just snuggle. congrats on your pregnancy and believe in your self. you know what is best for your relationship.
Personally, I feel a much greater bond with my daughter than with her father. I do love my partner don't get me wrong. But she is ME. She's my genes, my creation, and I can't see a single flaw or imperfection in her.


Marriages and relationships end all the time, but the connection felt between a mother and child is something SO strong I don't understand a person could ever break.


Now - my partner is not the most important thing in my life any more, my daughter is. She relies on me for everything, and I want to be the best person I can be to set an example for her.


That being said, after baby is born it's important not to neglect your husband because that's when cracks start to show and things can get ugly - it's all about balance and it's definitely possible to share your love evenly amongst your family.





Congratulations and Good Luck!






As you say they are 2 different kinds of love but love the same. I had my baby 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I love my child more than words can say but I also love my spouse to if not more since i have had my little man. Yes your husband and your relationship will change but most of the time it is for the better. You will spend more time with your baby than your hubby but that's to be expected I feel you love them both equally it's just priority changes from manly your hubby to mostly your child with some for your hubby but you have the rest of your lives together (hubby and you) same goes for you and you child its just when your kids get older the require less time then you and your hubby will have more time for each other.Just make sure you make time for you and your hubby.