I've been in this situation before, I was pissed and rightfully so considering I'm married to him. If he's over in Iraq, I'd wait til he comes home to talk about you being upset. He's got enough over there to worry about without the added stress. Seriously, wait.
If you're upset with a decision he made about his job, all I can say is it's part of the territory sweetie. That is the life of a military spouse. I know, I'm a military wife. Sometimes they have no choice but to make decisions without consulting us. They are often forced to do something that they don't want to do too. Just know that. The military owns them.What would you do if your spouse or bf made an important decision without even talking to you about it?
Thank you for the BA. :D
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That is very sad, some people say communication is the best thing to do maybe you should try telling him how you really feel about it. I hope everything gets better. %26lt;:)
That is kind of lame but imagine the stress he must be under (not that I'm taking his side). I don't know exactly how you must feel but I've been depressed missing my boyfriend before when he's left for the month. I know that being depressed makes you think the worst of things and magnifies problems like this 1000 x's.
Maybe try bringing it up without attacking him like ';let me know ahead of time if you're making that big of a decision. I just like to know what's going on and if I can help you think it through.'; or something smooth like that. Just don't be quick to leave him over something like this. Chances are, he doesn't even know it affected you this much. I'm sorry you're missing him. Like Dave Matthews says: ';I could go on forever just knowing I'll see you again.';
ahhh that line has got me through a lot.
Email him that you are upset. He needs to be aware of your feelings, but do it gingerly so as not to seem like you're over-reacting on email (sometimes people interpret things differently when they read them than when they hear them - thinking that the writing has more behind it than the author intended). but tell him, otherwise he'll make make decisions without your input
bring it up gently. he's under a lot of pressure...so you might get dumped on an impulsive decision by him. he does need to know that he hurt you though.
you should let him know that it bugged you a little bit that he didn't discuss the situation with you first.
under normal circumstances i would say yes, as partners i think you should be equal assuming that you're relationship is that serious however with him being in Iraq i imagine he has any stress and things to think about that he wouldnt need anything extra weighing him down--ya know? i say let it go and talk to him about it if it becomes a persistant issue....
My friend's bf went to Malaysia on a military posying without discussing it with her. It was one of the death knells in their relationship.
A relationship is about making decisions together. Things that either partner does can affect the other, and it is important to make sure that decisions are mutually agreed. Could you imagine if your partner bought a house or a car without talking to you? How would that affect joint finances?
It needs to be discussed with him. Whether it's better to do it sooner or later, well... How long is he gone for? If you don't discuss it now, will you ever? These are things you need to think about.
Does it mean so much to you? Because you have to keep in mind that his being in Iraq means that each communication you have could be your last..not trying to be morbid, just keeping it real.
If you can't get it off your mind, I suggest you let him know how you feel, in the kindest way you can. Also reiterating how much you miss him. I don't think anyone over there needs to feel any guilt from someone back home.
....If he was here though, my answer will be different
My husband is in the military and I would be furious if he made an important decision with out me. That is as his wife though b/c any decisions he makes affects me directly and our marriage. However, when we were b/f-g/f and he asked me if he should join or not, I said that it was not my place as a g/f to be a part of such a life decision. When I was a g/f, I did not feel our relationship was a life long thing necessarily-in a marriage it is. I would wait until he got back home before bringing up such a large issue-those guys have enough to worry about. I only burden my husband with things on a ';need to discuss NOW'; basis. Being a military significant other means sucking it up and putting your big girl/boy pants on and dealing with it until they get back, unless it absolutely cannot wait.
It depends on his reasons why he needs to make a decision without consulting me. Let him explain to you what are his reasons in deciding without consulting you. Don't nag him about it. There are times that we need to decide for ourselves without consulting other people. The important thing is that he told you about it. Get hurt if he did not tell his decision at all. Give him the freedom to decide, being a GF do not mean you can control his life even if you are his wife. All of us have the right to decide for ourselves sometimes. The important thing is that you trust each other and you believe that your partner will not make decisions that will ruin your relationship. If you really love and trust him support him in every decision he will make. Ok girl? Love and light!!
not good idea....he might get him self killed b.c of that..
I wouldnt be happy, i think yall should make decisions together
yes. tell him how you feel. send him a LONG email. get all of your emotions out and let him know you still love him but you're hurt that he didnt make that decision with you included. i probably did it because he thought you wouldnt want him to go and he didnt want to argue with you about it when he knew he had his mind made up. still he should have talked to you first so email him.
yea you should tell him how you feel and how you been lately and how much you miss him. and try contacting him the best way possible. Email can be find but it will mean much more for him if you call him.
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I would just let it pass unless the decision involves you....
Bring it up when he comes back... He's probably having a hard enough time over there already..
No please dont go on about things that have gone he need your support not your critisism time enough for recriminations when he is safely back in your arms
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