How to you begin a friendship with your spouse's ex-wife?

I do know she can be very unfriendly and unstable. I know I have to communicate with her. There are kids involved, but geeeez. Where do I begin?How to you begin a friendship with your spouse's ex-wife?
Keep it simple. This isn't a perfect world where you can have a friendship with the ex-wife. It would be nice, but it doesn't always happen the way you would like it, especially when there are kids involved. I am going through the same issue now. I give respect to the ex-wife and the children, but I give nothing else towards the ex-wife but treat the children as my own when they are in my house. Be simple...talk to her about things that involve the children, but not your own personal life.How to you begin a friendship with your spouse's ex-wife?
You stole her man. She will curse you with your last breath the same way you will curse the woman who takes him from you. You should not expect her to get over this.
Great Question! I have a wonderful relationship with my ex husband's wife, but it took alot of work, patience %26amp; time. At the beginning it was always bitter %26amp; a bit of jealousy from both of us, but we just continued to communicate, regarding the kids %26amp; involving each other in having joint birthday parties instead of seperate. WE now talk to each other freely (not best friends) but the kids are secure talking with either of us, they never feel disloyal %26amp; I feel it is the best for all of us!


Good luck!
First, I am sorry about some of the answers you received. The kids do like to play on here.


As for the question, I am in the same boat. My husband and his ex-wife were divorced eight years when we met and she left him. She refuses to even try to get along with me. She wanted my husband to pine away for her until his dying day and never marry again. I was told that by someone very close to her. She is mean and vile. I am sorry there is a child involved, or I would never speak to her at all.


Now for the advice, give up. I tried for a long time to be friends or to just be friendly. It never worked. A person can only do so much and then they have to give up. Make sure the child never hears you speak ill about their mother and make sure the child knows you have tried many times to have a semi-friendly relationship with their mother.


I am sorry you are going through this and it can be like walking Through a minefield when dealing with an ex-wife or ex-husband.
This is a tough issue, I am going through it myself. Try to look at it from their perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff and never ever raise your voice. I do most of my stuff via a letter, it documents all conversations involving kids school, doctor/dental appts, playmates.... You can say more in a letter to get your point across.
I would let her know my feelings and tell her on a one on one basis. Ask could you two one day get together and talk. Tell her that it concerns the children and set up a date. Ask her what type of restaurant she likes to eat lunch at and discuss the situation at lunch. If she declines, ask her when she think is a good time to talk and you prefer a face to face conversation and your children deserve that much from you and her. Another suggestion is after dropping the kids off at school, you could sit down to breakfast to talk. These approaches will show that you are mateur enough to handle the situation. If she still decline to talk to you, then you did all you can and communicate only through their father. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. If all else fails, express your desire to talk to her with your husband. This way he will see that you are only acting like the adult you are in this situation.
The 1st thing to do is send her a plant with a note in it asking for her to meet you for lunch or something you think she will be able to attend (just the 2 of you). If she accepts talk about the kids in a respectful manner; dont bring up anything negative about the kids. If she starts to insult your husband, or actually brings up anything about your husband get out of that conversation quick! She may never be a friend to you so accept that now. The only thing you 2 should talk about is the kids and maybe the weather etc. You want her to know that you a good person and the kids could be trusted with you. In time IF you are both resonable with eachother then something can possibly arise from it. But why would you want a friendship with the one person your husband used to be married to? It can cause problems with you and your spouse.
Take the time to talk to her, let her talk. DO NOT commiserate on bad things about the kids or dh. Call her out of the blue and ask her something general. Invite her to go somewhere with YOU and the kids..not dh. Hang in there mom! Good girl for stepping up. Remember, she may not be receptive if she misses your dh or really hates him. kwim?
I would say keep the relationship simple. Treat her and the children with respect. Be cordial when you encounter each other. Don't go overboard trying to establish a friendship. The relationship will come together in due time.
Just tell her that you know it's not easy for her,but for the sake of the children couldn't the two of you at least be civial towards each other.You never know she may eventually learn to respect and like you.This is something that will take time.Good luck
to be friends is one thing to get along for the best interest of the kids is a whole other story. If you are thinking of her already as unfriendly and unstable than I don't think you meant the word friendship. Treat it as you would a business situation. They have lots of parenting classes that can give you step by step instructions on how to deal with this relationship. Stop by the kids school or a local church or courthouse and ask they should know how to get into one of these classes.
the best of british luck love, woman can be b*^';%26gt;@+ when it comes to the 2nd wife,and can turn the kids against you so again good luck
Why do you need a relationship with her? Have your husband talk to her-- it's his responsiblity. The kids are his and hers, not yours.
good luck :-)
I would suggest involving booze one way or another. Start by going out for drinks? Way to be the bigger person and reach out first. You're doing the right thing for the kids.
Always be respectful even if it isn't deserved and make sure that you respect her guidelines for the children when they are at your house. It may help to send a card or a letter to let her know your intentions as a part of this family and that you only want what is best for the kids.