My ex-husband has changed. We get along way better now that we're divorced, and in other relationships. We've been civil the last few months, after a rough patch, because we need to communicate about our son.
I can see he has grown up and learned from his mistakes. He's now having a child with the girl he cheated on me with, and left me for. It does bother me a little, but nothing I can't overcome... however, he just called me and what he told me kinda... made we feel weird.
We we're setting our plans for the child for this weekend (his gf is due any day, he is supposed to have the child overnight), and he told me that he was sorry we never took pictures together when I was pregnant or after I gave birth (I don't have a picture with the 3 of us...), and that he's sorry for all the hurt he caused me, that I didn't deserve it. He also said I was a great mother, and that he knows he was a jerk and didn't help me during pregnancy and when the child was born, and is sorry that he wasn't there when I needed him. He thanked me for all I'm doing for our son, and assured me I'm doing a wonderful job and that he is a happy little boy. He basically admitted to his past mistakes, which he has never really done before, and it blew me away. The man I remember was cold, mean, heartless and a real pain in the @ss, never thanking anyone and never saying sorry. He changed, grew up, and is different from the man I divorced (NO I do not want him back, but I'm glad for the change in him, it's better for our son). He asked me how I was doing, if I was happy, and said he wanted me to be happy, in life, and in my new relationship. He actually also said that if the man I'm seeing makes me this happy (He does make me really happy, he's a great man, and my ex has seen the changes in me when coming to pick up our son), that he's not against my son meeting the guy, that he trusts my judgement (not in the near-future plans, I still keep my dating life separate from my son's life).
Is you ex=spouse different now that you're divorced? How so? Do you like the change?Is your ex-spouse totally different..?
My first husband and I were married for almost 30 years and eventually just grew apart. It got to the point where we hardly even saw one another let alone spoke. It got a little hostile in the end, and though there was nobody else involved on either side, became very uncomfortable. We finally got divorced and ever since have communicated more than we did in the last 5 years of the marriage, have once more become the good friends we were in the beginning and recognised the mistakes we both made. He lives abroad now but frequently returns to this country and stays here with me and my new partner. He has been here for Christmas and I looked after him when he was seriously ill for several months at my house after heart surgery.
Although our children are both grown up now it has made it so much easier for them that we have resolved any differences and moved on in our own ways. There will be no conflict of interest for either of them when it comes to weddings or family get togethers in the future, unlike some children who have to choose which parent to include.
He acknowledges my new relationship wholeheartedly and will be coming to our wedding later this year.
I think that it takes maturity and understanding when two people can resolve deep issues between them and fully accept the new lives they make for themselves. Whatever age the children are it does help them to adjust when the parents act like sensible and caring adults and can set aside their own differences.
My answer to your question is, I suppose, that rather than change since we divorced he has returned to the thoughtful and caring person he always was deep down inside and it took the divorce to get back to there for both of us.Is your ex-spouse totally different..?
A final note to Mrs Tiggiwinkles comment - ';Is it morally correct that as a divorcee you live with your new partner who is actually still married and actually still seeing someone else? What a brilliant family life you must lead - or does your partner not actually know what you are doing?
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Oh goody goody - dump fred then and stay with Phil!!
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The changes are he's not in your face 24/7 and you not in his%26gt; Leave it alone and keep it civil for your sons sake%26gt;
Well unlike yours mine turned into a crack hoe . Her health went to hell lost way to much weight she looks pathetic . But that's the life she wanted . I do feel sorry for her not mean to her at all . I let her visit the kids when she wants . Me myself i haven't changed a bit what for . Im the back bone of my family and going to stay that way until the kids are grown or until i die
He is probably in love with his GF and all the things he didn't do for you he is doing for her %26amp; he realizes he was a jerk genuinely feels bad for the way he treated you. its nice you guys can get along. Sometimes it is better for both parties just to be friends.
Yes my ex-hubby is way different.But in a bad way.We haven';t been apart but 2 months.I started talking to a guy just talking mind you and he informed my mother that i was a slut.This coming from a man who in Dec beat the crap out of me.he wasnt like this when we first got together,it didint get this way till we had our child.no i dont like this change.He was the best man you would have ever met now hes a monster.
As a mother you're always going to put your child first. I too keep my dating life seperate from my children.
Right now you can't dwell on the past or that he'll treat his girlfriend better than anyone. Karma is real. For now just keep the conversations simple and live your life.
As long as he or his girlfriend treat your son with love and respect, that's all that matters.
He hasn't changed.
He is just happy to be rid of you and his new woman makes him feel like a man, I bet.
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