If your spouse had this type of affair, how would you handle it? ?

My husband had an affair with our babysitter. I didn't find out until a month after it happened. They heavily communicated over the phone at strange hours and she would come over when I was at work. They got emotionally attached to each other and one day they fooled around. She made advances at him by playing with his ears and kissing him on the neck. He gave in and gave her oral. After that incident, he still talked to her and allowed her to visit one last time with friends. I'm deeply hurt by this ordeal. I don't know what to do. How should I act towards him and what should I do to regain my strength and trust? This is the hardest situation I've ever been in and it has caused me so much pain. We've been together for 5 years and married for 2 1/2. We have two children (1 and 2). Please help me get through this! Thank you!If your spouse had this type of affair, how would you handle it? ?
personally your marriage will never be the same as it use to be, when it happened to me, i knew i couldn't see him the way i use to, i realized that every time i looked into his eyes i would think about what he had done.as hard as it was, and as much as it broke my heart, i realized that it could happen again to me so i took my heartache and moved on,just couldn't take the chance of it happening to me again. as once a cheater always a cheater.If your spouse had this type of affair, how would you handle it? ?
Once the trust is gone so is the relationship. You should handle it by walking. If you stay you will be miserable. Every time he is on the phone you will think he is talking to her and when he goes out you will think he is with her. Don't live like that.
Is the babysitter under age? Gosh I hope not! Because that would not only ruin my faith and trust in him as a husband, but also a father....





As for me... I wouldn't be able to stay... I could forgive, but could never forget. He had an affair and who is to say it wouldn't happen again and again...
girlfriend, this will deffinetly happen again, sorry to say, you gotta leave him. unfortunatly you have 2 beautiful kids 2gether im sure, but he threw that out the window. being able to keep the fam together. if you dont leave, i garuntee he'll do it again
Leave him. If it was just a one time thing, then maybe you could stay and work it out. But he has been doing it for a while ( emotionally). He is going to do it again. HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR YOUR SELF AND LEAVE THE LOSER.
personally You would like to kick some butt!but that doesn't help solve anything.me id just let the person know,i know what your doing and Your not being fair to me!either me or nothing cause that's a lot of headache wondering what the other person is doing!!!!!!
Try marriage guidance counselling.
Does not matter what type of affair it is he cheated but He cheated with the baby sitter in ur home. I would sooooo make him pay after saying good bye.
don't worry about it. once he's done with her he'll move on and find another gf. we all have gf's on the side.
Wow.





Hun, you need marriage counseling. Your husband also needs to come clean (I don't know how you found out, but that's not terribly important at this stage), understand that what he did means that you should have no trust in him whatsoever for some time, and understand that by doing this with the person who was looking after your babies that he wasn't letting the babies be in the best care, either!





We can't tell you how you should act toward him. But there'd be major trust issues for a LONG time. The fact that he still let her visit after that shows that he wasn't really caring about YOU or your kids. You need help, hun. Go get it NOW.
Some posts will say that the marriage can be saved while others will say, dump the person.


This is very personal and every ones tolerance is different..You have to look deep at your feelings and try to understand your boundaries. Wish I could give ya a clean cut answer but I do not know you. You have to look inside to find those answers.
READDDDDDDDD THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS1


This is not acceptable! You need to stay in the relationship out of love NOT out of obligation. Forget the marriage counseling, you need to kick him out as soon as possible then he can take that skaank somewhere else. He has crossed way over the line, and i understand after you've devoted most of your life to someone it's hard to let them go, and women refuse to admit the person they fell in love with in the beginning turned out to be unworthy. Woman are the ones that try to fix things and we have the mother instinct so that is why we put up with alot of bs! You need to stop being so passive about this, and start to see your self-worth, and respect yourself.


Kick


His


a---


out.


It will hurt now, but he's not worth your tears, you'll find another guy who will love you, and be devoted to you. Don't let him make excuses, and then ask yourself ';What if he's really sorry and what if it won't happen again?'; Once a cheater, always a cheater.



I'll be honest and tell you how I would handle it. I would either go to counseling to figure out whether or not I could truly love and trust him again, or I would just leave. You should not have to be put in a situation where you feel completely vulnerable and unloved. You went into marriage taking vows of love and togetherness, and he threw those vows out the window to be with the babysitter. If he gave in to this girl, whose to say that he won't do it again? I just don't see how I'd be able to forgive something like that. It all depends on what you feel about it though. You may not be able to regain that trust.
I would be devastated and deeply hurt and angry at the same time. It would kill me to leave him but I know it would be better than to stay with him. To end a relationship is extremely painful. But I'd rather go through the months of pain, get over it and have a chance on finding someone else who will not cheat on me. I know if I stayed with him I could never get over it. So when I compare months of pain if I leave him to a lifetime of pain if I stay, I'd rather leave. I hope you leave too. Your husband betrayed you in the worst way and you deserve better.
Yikes. My husband and I were together 5 years before we even married and were married 8 years before we even had kids. Your husband sounds like a child. He doesn't sound like he wants to be a husband or a father. He would rather play around with the babysitter to make himself feel like a man.





You have to decide how much power you will give this situaiton. That would be a deal breaker for me. To break our trust with a babysitter? Not like they had tons of time to spend together if the child was around. I would be pissed that he was flirting in front of our kids. I'd ask him to leave.
Have you had a frank discussion with your hubby? Are there any other problems in the relationship? Has he told you he's sorry or shown remorse? Does he want to fix this as much as you do? These are all questions you need to ask yourself to help you decide whether you can go on in this relationship.





What he did is no small thing; cheating is cheating. Perhaps counseling is called for in your situation.





You don't need to regain your trust; he was the one who did wrong, therefore HE needs to regain your trust.